Friday, July 17, 2009

Controversial Ancient Horoscope Discovered

The photo above is of an ancient clay tablet that became of the center of a religious controversy last week. According to Tel Aviv University Professor of Archaeology, Avram Goldberg, the piece of clay with Aramaic writing on it is proof that ancient Hebrews dabbled in astrology.

Professor Goldberg says the clay tablet is a prediction for anyone of a particular astrological sign; in this case Capricorn. Professor Goldberg also claims to have carbon dated the clay tablet to the third week of March 33 CE.

Christian Evangelists along with the Catholic Church offered to purchase the clay tablet sight unseen from Tel Aviv University because they claim it pertains to the last days of Jesus Christ.

An independent translator hired by the Pope Benedict XVI has been allowed to view the clay tablet and has offered this translation of what many believe to be Jesus’ last horoscope:

“Next week you will come into a lot of shekels. Be sure to take time out to enjoy yourself and get plenty of rest. You deserve it. Friends tell you that family planning is a good way to spend the next few days. Listen to them. Your Sun in Virgo says it is a good time to buy a new pair of sandals.”

Professor Goldberg says that while ancient Hebrews wrote predictions commonly known today as horoscopes, he hastens to add that just because these astrologers were ancient does not mean they did not also write their horoscopes for entertainment purposes only.

The Jim Buck Blog Christmas in July Special Report

Join us on Christmas-in-July Day, July 25th, for our special investigative report that explores the questions, “Was Jesus a Socialist?” and “Is the Christian Right Wrong on Christ?”

Makes the Christian Coalition seem like the Moral Majority.